Ellen Dengeneres' UFO Experience

Recently, on her wildly condoned daytime chat show Ellen D shared the details of her own personal Texas UFO sighting. But until today it was not known that she was abducted as well. Apparently, the teenage Ellen was mistaken for one of their own by a group of stammering aliens from a planet populated by cuddly, red state-friendly lesbians who gain nutrition through sniffing eybrow dandruff.

Here is a shocking photo of her with one of her captors:





According to secret government sources Ellen got off lucky, as many abducted by these aliens wake up in cornfields to find themselves impregnated with David Crosby's sperm.