Batman Spoiler Alert!

In light of actor Heath Ledger's tragic passing, Warner Bros. and director Chris Nolan have to do some quick editing and clever re-shoots. It seems that in the original ending for the upcoming "Dark Knight," Batman saves himself from the Joker by reaching into his utility belt and pulling out a lethal dose of sleeping pills.

First Scientology oriented Rap CD Emerges.

The album, "Xenu is my Homeboy" is the alien brainchild of rapper, actor and born again Scientologist, Will Smith. Some of the track titles include "Libel Suit- Fixin' to Lit2G8," "Suppressives Just Don't Understand" and "Kickin' It Like L. Ron DMC."

In a related story, Smith now alleges that his "Men in Black" movies depict anti-alien hate crimes.

Ellen Dengeneres' UFO Experience

Recently, on her wildly condoned daytime chat show Ellen D shared the details of her own personal Texas UFO sighting. But until today it was not known that she was abducted as well. Apparently, the teenage Ellen was mistaken for one of their own by a group of stammering aliens from a planet populated by cuddly, red state-friendly lesbians who gain nutrition through sniffing eybrow dandruff.

Here is a shocking photo of her with one of her captors:





According to secret government sources Ellen got off lucky, as many abducted by these aliens wake up in cornfields to find themselves impregnated with David Crosby's sperm.

"Cloverfield" Monster Revealed

Footage from the cutting room floor of the hit POV style monster crapfest "Cloverfield" hit the internet today. Some say keeping the audience from actually seeing the monster makes a movie scarier but in this case I have to disagree. You be the judge.

When asked for comment, Ms. Barr said that the clips of her eating downtown Manhattan were removed by the producers at her request as they had been taken without her permission from home movies.

New Hollywood Diet Trend

Paris enjoys the raw bar at a hip, new Korean restaurant.

Somebody Call "Dateline NBC"

"So, there's this priest I think you would totally hit it off with...."

Eddie says down-low sex is "Otay!"

Hey, Eddie? What does your favorite part of "close friend" Johnny Gill look like?

In other Murphy news, Eddie is going to try to use his fading dramatic cache from "Dreamgirls" to star in a dark new WWII drama about black prisoners in Auschwitz that he has personally written. He has tentatively titled it "Daddy Death Camp."